My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
