he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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