Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
