I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
