you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.