just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.