I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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