I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
