apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What drink are we having for lunch?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
