why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
