I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
