I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
