kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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