But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
