Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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