yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I will be naked everywhere
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
