addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize