I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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