mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
