Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
