so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want to make out with him forever
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
