I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
