a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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