Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
