oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
