just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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