When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
