South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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