So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
