she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
