Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
