One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
