I want to walk on stilts...naked
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
