That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
