I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Two words: nipple clamps
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