next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
