And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
