yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
