WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
