btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize