Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
