i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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