I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
