Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
