just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
