barbara walters just said penis...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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