Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
