I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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