You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
