Ambien. No doubt about it.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
