are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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