Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
