haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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