I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize