I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
